“I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” Thoreau
How fitting that I found this at the Linkoping public library! Only a few pages in – and it is not easy to read, though enjoyable. Living in the countryside, living off the land, with visits into the nearby town? Sounds a lot like my life here (though we only grow a few things off the land here – but still, it’s more than what I did in Canada).
Have been thinking a bit about what I’ll do once my tourist visa runs out in mid-January. Should I go back to my old job? And when exactly? Immediately or when my year is up? Would be nice to make some money again, instead of spending it. It’s hard for me not to think about money, even though I still have lots of savings, and know myself that money alone isn’t fulfilling in the least. Money does ease a lot of stress and worry, but in quoting someone I met during my travels, “I’d rather have experiences.” Time, for me, is a luxury.
The idea of travelling somewhere has also crossed my mind – but not through many cities and places, and instead, spending a few months in one place. Maybe China. Maybe Quebec. Yes, strange choices, I know – not exactly two places you’d think of one after another. A few months ago I might have been more excited to hop over to China, but right now I’m leaning towards Montreal.
I also have a few ideas of what else I might like to do in my career. I know that my own self-doubt in my abilities holds me back. There are some things I’ve thought of that I would love to do, but feel that I lack the talent. Perhaps it isn’t true? I don’t know because I’ve never gone all out to try, and lack a lot of experience and practice that others have. To get there I do know I need more skills to get there however, and some more school would help me get there. Shifting fields scares me, as the new field would require me to be more creative, more enterprising, and take more risks. School has always been a bit of a security blanket for me – it makes me feel reassurred that I’m “getting” somewhere, knowing that I’m following a well defined path. But this isn’t always a good thing I think.
… to be continued …